Cancelled Out

Um, first of all, WHEN did Lindsay Lohan become a lesbian? I was just reading the news about her and saw that he is now gay. And here I thought she was a bit of a skank...oops. I guess life in Asia has prevented me from aquiring key Hollywood gossip. Yet another sign that I must return to the Motherland.

Secondly, I noticed that her boyfr...I mean girlfriend looks like a twelve year old boy. A scrawny little adolscent punk to be exact... Wouldn't that kinda cancel out the whole lesbianism thing, you know, because she likes girls who look like boys?

I donno, I'm just saying...

Why?

Why is it that when you get X-rays at the dentist, they leave you sitting helplessly in the chair while they run out of the room, shut the door and wait for the harmful radiation dissipate?

In English Now

Phew! Now that my Blogger is not in Cantonese anymore, I guess I am obliged to write...that ought to be to everyone's great relief. After all, it's been what...months, right? There must be so much that I have to catch everyone up on. *Insert nervous laughter here*

Well, the thing is, there is nothing new. Not. One. Thing. In fact, here is the Coles (Cliffs for all you American folk) Notes version of what's been going on in the past couple of months:

1. Finished work
2. Moved house, am currently homeless
3. Flew to Canada
4. Slept in late nearly every day for the past 3 weeks
5. Have neither lost nor gained weight...but I still have 4 weeks holiday left so we'll see about that one.

If I think of anything witty or inspirational to tell then I will be sure to write. Watch this space.

WHAT THE HELL?

My fucking blog login thingy is in Cantonese! What the hell?

Try THIS

I was trying to find the fat/calorie content of Japanese gyozas because I ate an entire package in one sitting and I stumbled upon this website!

It's free! Woohoo!

Suggestion For This Ad...

I was randomly flicking through some blogs and I came across this picture.

You will notice that the bottom of the ad says "Get your head out of the toilet and onto a shirt".

My knee-jerk reaction is, of course, to "get your head out of your ass and onto a shirt".

Oh, come on. You're all thinking it.

The Rules of Pedestrian Traffic in Hong Kong

Clearly, there aren't any. In fact, the rules are that there are no rules. Any logic that you may have been taught by parents, teachers, or general example should be thrown out the door.

Example 1: If you are accustomed to walking on the right hand side, the locals are prone to run into you by walking on the left hand side in the opposing direction. This results in glares, an awkward manoeuvre to get around each other and under-the-breath slurs by both parties.

Example 2: If you are walking very close to a wall, fence, building, etc., by way of leaving 2 feet, 2 yards or 2 acres of space on the opposing side, there will be a majority of locals who try to overtake you from the inside where there may be one to two inches of space MAXIMUM. This results in glares, an awkward manoeuvre to get around each other and under-the-breath slurs by both parties.

Example 3: Reverse directions as discussed in Example 1. This results in glares, an awkward manoeuvre to get around the other and under-the-breath slurs by both parties. Also,great confusion will occur on part of foreigner because they thought they were doing so well by walking on the opposing side so as to not upset the locals.

A Rose By Any Other Name...Is a Bowl of Rice?

Okay.

I have been thinking about the fact that I have been a) living in Hong Kong for three years and b) working with Koreans for one year and c) the fact that I can neither speak Cantonese nor Korean. At. All.

So, I decided to ask my Mandarin (Phutonghua) speaking friend what my name was in her language and what it meant. She told me that the translation meant "lucky rice" in English. In the words of Andy Pipkin, "I don't like it".

So then, I approached my Korean friend. I asked her what my name meant in Korean. She said that the translation meant "wall teacher". Great. So now I am a teacher of walls. She also told me that my first name meant "most fun" in Korean. That's true.
I am the most fun. Always.

My name in English means "God is good". But in French it means "I like".

Does that mean that Borat is adressing me personally when he says, "I like"?