Cable Television Purgatory

It's Friday night.
It's 12:16 a.m.
I am still in my twenties, reasonably good looking and rather a joy to be around.

And I am watching Walker, Texas Ranger...guest starring Hulk Hogan.

I got nothing...

Pick-up Lines That Have Been Used on Me Before

This is an honest-to-god list of pick-up lines that have been used on me.

Only a couple have been sucessful.

Nice shoes. Wanna f#@k?

Hey, you look like Ricky Lake. After she got not fat. Want to make out?

Canadian? I love beavers!

Wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

Hey, you look like that alcoholic lesbian with the big tits on Will and Grace. Wanna make out?

Him: Excuse me, can I get by please?
Me: And why in hell would I let you do that?
Him: Well, let me buy you a drink and I'll tell you why.
Me: OKAY!!

You're really short. Like my mom.

Me: Oh shit! I spilled drink on your handbag, Friend! Let me rub it off.
Friend: That's okay. I know that you like to rub bags *wink*.
Him: Yeah, I hope that she will be rubbing my bag after you leave.

How much?