Living in Asia means that I am exposed to some quality television and by quality television, I mean canned sitcoms that can be purchased cheaply by our local cable network. After all, it’s that or watch Cantonese soaps and Korean Hour every day and living in Hong Kong whilst working for a Korean company gives me my fill. So, besides having the good fortune of The Bold and The Beautiful reruns circa 1999, I get to watch a series of new ‘telenovelas’ from a pilot American television station.

MyNetworkTV has thus far shown two of it’s masterpieces on Starworld. The first being Desire: Table for Three, which showcased two brothers running from the mob and falling for the same girl and it turns into convoluted love triangle that ends…well, I am not sure how it ended. Frankly, besides some sweet-assed abs and soft-porn scenes, the acting is rancid. And with that, my excitement at the prospect of something good to watch, was fleeting and all in vain.

However, the end of Desire saw the beginning of a whole new guilty pleasure called Fashion House. Here is what the uber-reliable search engine Wikipedia has to say about it:

“Fashion House focused on greed, lust and ambition surrounding a violent corporate takeover of the business's hottest company. It starred Bo Derek as the ruthless head of the business and Morgan Fairchild as her long-time arch-rival. The show was known more for the leads' hair-pulling, name-calling, and vase-throwing than for its romance, passion and drama.”

Brilliant. There is nothing better than a good old fashioned cat-fighting scandal. The acting is pretty lame and Gloria Thompson’s boobs are hoisted to her chin, but none of that really matters because the storyline is slightly psychotic and Bo Derek has the best lines. Ever.

Morgan Fairchild: Is that supposed to scare me?
Bo Derek: [through stifled laughter] Is that dress supposed to scare me?
Bitch slap number 4567 ensues.


Loves it.