Well, the shit has finally hit the fan. Grant Miller of the infamous Grant Miller Media has dug deep and got some answers from The Far, Far Side. Read on to learn why we empathize with The Company Bitch, why we are located in The Big Smog and who we would like to spank!
GMM: You're from Canada but you live in Hong Kong. Explain.
TFFS: The Great Maritime Diaspora is phenomenon whereby Atlantic Canadians flee in pursuit of excitement. I, however, have moved to Hong Kong because I am highly motivated by money and wanted to get myself on the NOBU waiting list purely out of snobbery. But know this, Mr. Miller, you can take the girl out of the maritmes, but you can't take the maritimes out of the girl!
GMM: You recently reported on The War between The Company Bitch and Grant Miller Media and chose her side. What is wrong with you?
TFFS: There’s no argument that I am maniacally insane. You can ask my mom and she will concur. Re: The Company Bitch, I don’t feel that I took her side so much as just commented on the fact that “Bitch can write”. And for the record, I did call her a bitch.
GMM: Kill, Fuck or Marry: Jim Halpert, Tim Canterbury or Louis Temblay.
TFFS: Phwoar! Very bad Grant Miller, this is hard! I am notoriously indecisive. I performed a mini e-stalk on Louis Tremblay. He's cute, but neither do I parle le francais tres bien nor have I seen La Job. Kill him. Jim Halpert looks like the guy I carpool with. I wouldn’t fornicate with carpool guy but I would fornicate with Jim Halpert. Tim Canterbury is the nice one you bring home to your mother…though I would never bring anyone home to meet my family because the poor bastard would head for the hills after meeting them.
GMM:Which do you prefer and why: Lai Cha or Yuanyang?
TFFS:Lai cha is okay, but I prefer (珍珠珍奶) zhēnzhū naichá only because I like saying it's name. Say it with me, zhen zhu nai cha. Nice, innit?
GMM:Why should people read your blog?
TFFS:Because reading about the haphazard life of an overweight spinster gwai-poh has to make anyone feel better about themselves, right?
3 comments:
What's a gwai-poh? Is that Cantonese for "gringo"?
Wow, I only made it from the Maritimes to Toronto. Do I feel like a loser. I'm off to drown my sorrows in Bubble Tea.
michael k: gwai-poh (n.) female version of white ghost or white devil (gweilo) used by Cantonese to describe foreigners. Sorta derrogatory, but not really.
dale: no! not a loser! Embrace your Maritime-ness! Embrace Bubble Tea!(p.s. which province?)
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