Canada’s Worst Citizen is Here!
To hell with heroism and good will! Canadian publication The Beaver wants your opinion on the most deviant,despicable and unremarkable member of our nation! And you get to vote multiple times!
Why would anybody accuse a Canadian of being anything other than nice, you ask? Well, since it’s infancy, Canada has been synonymous with peace, virtue and all-round good manners. Rightly so. I personally am all those things, and more. But the point is that although these are all valid reasons to look at the true greatness of any Canuck, Canadians are tired of the squeaky clean and demure persona for which they are known in the global community…for the most part.
And to that, I say, “I know, eh!”
I quizzed my co-workers on the matter and this is the list of crap Canadians we came up with and why we think they are noteworthy of their crappiness:
5. Alan Thicke This is not because of his career on Growing Pains or because he is yet another American sellout or because his son Robin Thicke is a Michael Buble rip off…it’s because, as children, we were forced to watch the Alan Thicke show with our grandmothers (as it’s time slot was right before Another World came on at 3 p.m.) This was before the ingenious invention of cable TV .
4. From cheers to jeers, the Mulroney years! I’ll say nothing more.
3. Celine Dion Oh God. Where does one start? As a coworker put it, “her megalomaniacal ways are the antithesis of what Canadians are about”. Touche, mon ami. Celine is definitely the one Canadian that we all love to hate. I think it’s her voice and the way she strikes on her chest when she sings.
2. & 1. These places have been reserved for none other than serial killers Robert Pickton and Paul Bernardo. We couldn’t decide who was worse: a man who kills and chops up pretty young girls or a man who kills and chops up prostitutes…tough one, I know.
We want to know your opinion! Who do you think deserves to make this list?
3 comments:
Paul Shaeffer gets on my nerves a little. Avril Lavigne and Loverboy were from Canada and they both suck pretty hard.
And what do all three of these people have in common?
Upper Canadians.
I'm just saying, that's all...
I had a crazy neighbour in my last apartment building who believed that Celine Dion was God. I shit you not. He would listen to her EVERY MORNING at SIX A.M. On repeat. He believed that she would one day rule the world and that she was the greatest being on the planet.
He also believed that Oprah was Jezzebel and that he was the cause of Hurricane Katrina, but that's neither here nor there.
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